Grey
by vro
Summary: Ciel's past comes to haunt him and it begins to interfere with his life.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This the first fanfic I've ever written for _anything_. I apologize if it's bad but.. Enjoy! :D **

_Brinng Briing_

The alarm shrieked into the sleeping boy's ear as he lazily swung his arm around, hoping to grab a hold of the alarm clock. He quickly switched off the alarm and struggled to rise from his oh-so-comfortable bed. It was 5am in the morning and Ciel began to slip into his beige jeans and black shirt that clipped a nametag that read, 'Hi, my name is Ciel'. His eyes were filled with sleep and his hair was disheveled from the twisting and turning throughout the night. Disregarding his appearance, Ciel groggily rose from his bed.

"Ouch.." Ciel muttered as his bruised arm bumped into the nightstand. He began to trace his fingers onto the purple-blue bruises he developed.

_Last night,_ Ciel thought._ Right, I fainted during P.E. So embarrassing…_

A sharp pain in his head dragged Ciel back from his reminisce. Quickly, he applied pressure on both his temples to ease the pain. _Must be from yesterday,_ Ciel assured himself.

After his episode, Ciel shuffled into his kitchen and began to pour himself a glass of steaming water. His kitchen, not noticeable large, took the dimensions of a rectangle. White cabinets and white tiles decorated the room while a dim fluorescent light illuminated the room. Ciel shivered as he introduced his bare foot onto the ice-cold tiles. _Dammit_, Ciel thought. _The heater is probably still broken. _He cupped his hands on the steaming mug, warming his cold finger tips. Afterwards, Ciel rummaged into his fridge, hoping to find something to break his fast.

"Ciel, honey, up already?," Rachael Phantomhive asked as she yawned her way into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of hot coffee as she skimmed the local New York Times.

"Yeah..", Ciel murmured as he closed the refrigerator door which was void of any consumable food. He flinched in pain as his arm accidentally collided with the marble-white counter.

Rachael looked up from the newspaper and discovered the big bruise that was forming on her poor son's arm. "Ciel! What is that?!" Rachael exclaimed as she made her way to Ciel. Gently, she lifted his arm and began to pester him with questions.

"Mom… it was nothing. I just fell during P.E.", Ciel said as he yanked his arm from his mother's grip. He let out a large sigh as he began to munch into an apple.

Rachael was not convinced at her son's statement and insisted that she can at least bandage his arm. She understood that her son's health was frail and it always bothered her to see Ciel hurt in any way.

"Mom! I'm going to be late!" Ciel moaned out as she began to apply the finishing touches onto the bandage.

"There, there…Don't forgot to eat during lunch! I packed your favorite turkey sandwich" Rachael said happily as she helped Ciel into his winter coat and backpack.

Rolling his eyes, Ciel left his apartment without exchanging any 'good-byes' to his mom. _Oh great, I'm late for work again_, Ciel thought to himself. _Baldroy is going to kill me! _Baldroy runs a local convenient store which sells all things convenient such as toilet paper, candy bars, newspapers and chips. Ciel was a part-timer working from 5:30 to 7:30 where customers are either half-awake or half-asleep.

"Ey Ciel! What's up? Late _again_?" Baldroy said as the doors swished opened. Panting, Ciel made his way into the employee room and dropped off his bookbag along with his winter coat.

"I –ah- I'm s-sorry", Ciel said panting heavily from the rush of adrenaline coursing through his body. His cheeks were flushed red as he began to take charge over the counter.

Baldroy eyed Ciel's newly bandaged arm and decided that questioning it will only result in a useless conversation. "Ya better get her on time here pal. It's a good thing that I'm friends with your mom" Baldroy chuckled as he retired to the employee lounge.

The rest of the 2 hours went by smoothly. There was not a noticeably large amount of people coming in, given the time. Yet, Ciel felt exhausted afterwards. He retired to the employee lounge to retrieve his coat and backpack and exchanged soft farewells with his boss while leaving his workplace.

The only enjoyable thing about working at Baldroy's store is that it was just a few blocks away from Ciel's high school. It was normal to find his school vacant of people in the mornings and Ciel took advantage of that. He enjoyed the silence and tranquility of the library, watching the Sun's dim rays slowly penetrate the windows. This was something he savored the most during his 24 hours.

However, this time it was different. As Ciel made his way into the library he noticed something that he has not for quite some time- another person. It didn't shock the young boy, but he did find it curious. Gradually, Ciel settled into the chair furthest from the 'other person'. Yet, he didn't find it comforting at all. A strange wave a tension filled the room disturbing Ciel's idea of 'peace'. Anxious, Ciel looked around and accidently locked eyes with a certain raven-haired male. Ciel quickly diverted his gaze hoping he was unseen from his action.

"Ciel.. Phatomhive, is it?"

Ciel quickly looked up, uncertain of what to say, and nodded politely. He recognized that he was staring into a pair of ruby red eyes which stood out against his fair white skin.

"You fainted during P.E yesterday, right?"

Again, Ciel nodded cautiously. His tiny fingers started to fidget around each other. The red-eyed teen quickly took notice of it and began to form a smile.

"I don't.. really like gym" Ciel forced face quickly flushed red when he heard a faint chuckle coming from the other man. _Oh great, now he's laughing at me?!_, Ciel thought.

"And your arm..", the black-haired teen went on. "Is it ok?"

"O-Oh yeah! It's just a bit bruised" Ciel said as he lifted up his bandaged arm. The teen got up from his seat and walked over to Ciel. Gently, he ruffled Ciel's hair, smiled, and said, "We should get to class right now"

Ciel's face flushed while he felt contact onto his hair. "R-Right… Oh yeah, what's your name?" Ciel asked as he rose from his seat.

"Sebastian", he answered as they walked out of the library. Sebastian helped Ciel's small frame in his strangely large backpack as they arrived at Ciel's world history class.

"Thanks" Ciel murmured. "Oh, I guess we'll see other during gym?"

"Yep, hopefully you won't faint this time" Sebastian said as he smiled to himself.

The two exchanged farewells while they departed to class. Ciel, still dumbfounded, sat at his chair as he recalled what just happened. _He's treating me like I'm a kid!_, Ciel angrily thought to himself. _Such a rude person! _

As the day passed, all Ciel was thinking about was his 6th period class, P.E. It wasn't because he actually enjoyed sports or physical activity; it was because Sebastian was there. However, sitting in the cafeteria, Ciel was regretting that he came. His blonde friend Alois was talking on about the new episode of Dexter.

"And guess what" Alois asked excitedly.

"What" Ciel asked, uninterested at what was to come.

"He_ killed_ the guy. Straight out murdered him!"Alois said as his arms went up to the air. His cheeks began to puff up and turned to a light shade of pink.

Ciel rolled his eyes as he remembered the packed lunch still sitting in his backpack. He took out the turkey sandwich and gave the larger half to Alois.

"Thanks!" Alois said with a mouthful of food. "Are you sure you're not too hungry?"

"No, not anymore, anyways" Ciel said as he nibbled the edge of his sandwich.

Ciel was glad when he was finally away from Alois. On top of that, it was his phys ed. period. Bittersweet emotions arose when Ciel sat in the boy's locker room. Despite looking forward to meeting Sebastian, he absolutely _hated _changing here. The locker room was infamous for being obnoxiously loud. He dropped his heavy backpack and scanned the area. _It stinks_, Ciel thought to himself as he quickly took off his black T-shirt. Reaching into his backpack, he grabbed out one that was much larger and began to stick his head into the shirt. However, his body went numb when he felt eyes glaring onto him.

"What is _THAT_?!" several voices asked. Ciel defined one of them as Grell Sutcliff, who he wasn't on friendly terms with. He felt a large knot tying in his throat as his ear became muffled with all the voices. _Oh no_, Ciel panicked. _They've seen it, they've seen it. _

"Looks like a cool tattoo" he heard one kid say. Ciel quickly dropped his shirt, covering his marking. He felt his heart pounding against his chest while he realized his rapid breathing was not enough to sustain his lung's demand. He quickly ran into the boy's bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls. Leaning over towards the toilet, Ciel became to vomit while gasping for air. His throat burned each time vomit rose up towards his mouth while his tears were running down his dark blue eyes. _This can't be happening_, Ciel thought as his arm began to clench his chest. _No.. please. _He closed his eyes, feeling completely drained and tired, and remembered that he was suppose to meet Sebastian. _Did he see?,_ Ciel wondered as tears came down his cheeks.

Ciels stumbled onto his own two feet as his shaking fingers unlocked the stall. He felt as if he spent an eternity cooped up in the bathroom as a wave of air brushed onto his sweaty palms. _It's okay_, Ciel reassured himself. _I'm okay…_

"Ciel!" a familiar voice called out. "Ciel! I was looking for you!"

_He can't see me like this_, Ciel anxiously thought. However, it was too late as Sebastian was already right next to Ciel.

**Again, I do apologize if it's bad, please be easy with me haha :) **

**Vro**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Chapter 2 here you go! **_  
_

**I do not own Kuroshitsuji : **

_Never in my life did I want to run away more than I wanted to now. I know I owed an explanation to Sebastian, but a part of me wished that I could've just stayed in the stall for a bit longer…._

Ciel's red swollen eyes and flushed cheeks largely contrasted his milky white skin. His heart dropped when he saw Sebastian right in front of him.

"Ciel, are you alright?.." Sebastian asked quietly, not wanting to startle the child any further. Although 15, Ciel had characteristics of a 12-year old.

"I'm-ah- a-alright" Ciel spit out. He was trying his best to maintain his composition. The wrong move may just trigger another panic attack. His labored breathing became even worse when students came pouring into the locker rooms. _I must have missed P.E.._, Ciel thought. Suddenly, his knees began to buckle and his vision came blurred. All the noises in the locker rooms seemed to become muffled and unclear.

"Seb-". Suddenly, Ciel's vision blackened as his legs entirely gave up. He searched for something to hold onto, but failed miserable as his body quickly collapsed onto the cold, hard ground.

"Ciel!"

…..

"Yes, thank you so much sir" Ciel heard his mother say as his eyes fluttered opened. He felt the familiarity of his own bed and heavy blankets around him.

"Ah-! He's awake!" another voice said. Ciel attempted to sit up, but failed when he realized his weak arms could not support his body weight._ I feel terrible, _Ciel thought as his eyes stared blankly towards the ceiling. Hurried footsteps were heard as his bedroom door was opened.

"Ciel, honey, how are you feeling?" Rachel asked as she quickly crouched down next to Ciel's bed. She placed her hand onto his warm forehead and slightly frowned at her sick son.

"I f-feel fine" Ciel stuttered. Although bedridden, Ciel felt the world spiral around him.

"Does this happen often?" Ciel heard someone ask. Too tired to wake, Ciel allowed his throbbing temples to settle down while still aware of his surroundings.

"He used to have these attacks quite often." Rachael said. "I thought he grown out of it but…"

"Are these considered as panic attacks?"

Rachael nodded her head. "Ciel also suffers from asthma. He's been neglecting to take his inhaler to school, but I stopped worrying when these attacks became less frequent. I should've known…"

"It's not your fault Miss. Phantomhive" a gentle voice said. _I know this voice!_, Ciel thought as his heavy eyelids opened. His vision, however, was still very blurry due to his swollen eyelids.

"Seh-bas-" a coughing fit struck Ciel's small frame as he trembled over his thick blue blankets. Bile dripped down onto his chin as he attempted to resist the strong urge to cough. Breathing was also another difficult task for Ciel. Each inhalation resulted in wheezing and small coughing fits while exhalations proved to be harsh and painful.

The red-eyed teen's attention darted onto the bedridden Ciel as his mother began to place even more wet towels onto her poor son's forehead. Occasionally, Rachael will stroke Ciel's flushed cheeks while staring at his closed eyelids.

"Yes Ciel?" Sebastian questioned as his heart dropped from the sight of the trembling child. Knowing fully well that Ciel wasn't actually asking a question; Sebastian did hope he'll receive a response.

"Shh.. shh.." Rachael cooed as Ciel's hoarse coughs filled the room.

"Seb- ah..an" Ciel stuttered to say as he choked on his words. "W-why..". His voice gave up as another wave of wet coughs took over his body.

Sebastian stood over Ciel's bed, not knowing what to say or do. "You fainted in school, Ciel. Do you remember?" Sebastian asked, hoping for a reply. However, what he got were hoarse, slurred words coming out from the young boy's mouth.

Another blanket covered Ciel as his small body shivered. Although Ciel's body was inflamed and flushed, he felt otherwise. He dug down deeper into the blankets, hoping to provide him with some extra warmth. The large, thick blankets practically engulfed Ciel's small figure as he slowly curled into fetal position. Sebastian chuckled at the sight.

"Cute" he mumbled out loud.

"Oh dear, what's the time right now.." Rachael said as she rose herself from Ciel's bedside. "Almost 7pm! Oh no.."

"Is there anything wrong-"

"I'm already late for my work shift!" Rachael exclaimed quietly, trying her best not to disturb Ciel from his slumber. "Ah! Sebastian, dear, can you watch him for the time being?"

Sebastian didn't know what to say. Of course he knew he had to say yes, but it all seemed too strange.

Sebastian smiled. "Of course, Miss. Phantomhive"

"Ah-! I almost forgot. If Ciel does wake, can you please feed him something?" Rachael asked with a tired smile."The kitchen should have some oatmeal..". Rachael moved on into her bedroom where she looked for her white nurse scrubs."Also, his inhaler is right besides his bed. Please-" Rachael paused, catching up on her breath. "Please don't hesitate to make yourself feel at him". She smiled at both Sebastian and her son while she silently crept out of the apartment.

Standing in the center of Ciel's room, Sebastian felt a huge weight of responsibility fall onto his shoulders. What if he screws up? What if he makes the boy cry? So many doubts and questions, but none are answered. He decided to make himself comfortable in the small living room decorated with a green couch on top of a colorful circular rug. The white-framed windows were long with yellow curtains draping downwards falling onto the dark oak-wooden floor. It was a very homely apartment, for a single mom and a child, to be raised in. Lots of framed photographs of Ciel as a baby were placed over the green and white walls of the living room.

Sebastian made his way into the white-tiled kitchen, fumbling in the kitchen cabinets. He took notice of a cabinet filled with syringes and other medications and quickly closed it. His guts told him that wasn't where Rachael left the oatmeal at. Sighing, Sebastian took out a small red saucepan and filled it half-way up with water. A cup of oats were added along with a few pinches of salt. He let the oats simmer in the water for a few more minutes, and then gradually lowered the heat until it was off. The oatmeal was then poured into a white bowl placed on the kitchen counter to cool.

A soft, hoarse cough caught the attention of Sebastian.

He silently took the bowl of oatmeal off the counter and entered Ciel's bedroom. Gently, he placed the bowl onto the counter, hoping it'll catch his attention. Failing, Sebastian lightly tapped Ciel's shoulders, hoping to wake the sleeping boy. Still, no response.

"Ciel.. Ciel, I have some oatmeal here" Sebastian said not too loudly, but not too low. Ciel's poked out from his blankets and stared blankly into the bowl of oatmeal.

"N-not hungry" Ciel said hoarsely. His head quickly returned inside the thick blankets. _Sebastian shouldn't be here_, Ciel thought. _He doesn't need to see me like this.. No.. _

"Please, Ciel" Sebastian answered with a large sigh. He wasn't considered a patient man, but was willing to negotiate with the kid. "You threw up most of your stomach contents..".

"I'm okay" Ciel whispered out softly, head still tucked inside the pile of blankets. He was embarrassed to be seen by someone he barely knew for a day. His nape was wet from salvia and goop that rose out from his mouth. The appearance was extremely childish, but at the same time pitiful.

Sebastian crouched beside Ciel's bed and held the bowl of oatmeal close to the warm, bundled up child. "5 spoonfuls and that's all. I won't tell your mother, it'll be a secret" Sebastian said, making sure Ciel heard from inside his cocoon. He formed a small smile when the child rose from the blankets and attempted to sit up. Failing, Sebastian gently fortified Ciel's arms by locking his two below Ciel's armpits. Ciel's vision quickly became foggy while his mind spiraled from the sudden rush of movement.

"O-okay" Ciel mumbled while taking large spoonful of oatmeal and placed it inside his mouth. Sebastian smiled, satisfied that Ciel was eating. By the 3rd spoonful, Ciel refused any more. "N-no more. I'm full"

Disappointed, Sebastian took the bowl away from Ciel and quickly rose from his bedside. He noticed residue of oatmeal on Ciel's chin and quickly wiped it off with a tissue. Smiling, Sebastian took off into the kitchen.

It all felt strange to Sebastian. Why did Ciel even _have_ panic attacks? There were so many empty holes, but Sebastian pushed it away. He knew it wasn't the right time to ask or pester anyone by it. Besides, he hardly knew this boy.

**What'd you guys think? Questions? Concerns etc. Let me know! **

**Vro**


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